My friend arrived on Thursday for our catch up. We last met eight years
A knock on the door and I went to open it. As I was not expecting my visitor until later in the afternoon, I was not sure who was outside. We all have door chains, but I admit to not using mine. Grapped the dog and opened up. I stood their looking blank before I realised that my expected guest had arrived. I hadn’t recognised her. I thought she looked old, quite forgetting she was probably thinking the same about me.
She handed me a pot of hyacinths and some primroses and bluebells from her garden and some chocolate. I ate a couple of squares of chocolate, but I suffered with atrial fibrillation all night. Chocolate can sometimes do this to me, and I admit to being piggy over the last week, because I can’t resist eating it if given to me.
Ushered her inside, coat off and cup of tea made, but in her case it was coffee. She and her husband had just had a hearing test. At the moment I can hear well I’m glad to say, but they both needed some help.
Settled back in my chair to hear her news. The one thing that stayed in my mind and will for a long time is that her daughter’s are estranged. When I last met the family the two girls were close. They had been from the time they were small children. It was obvious that this situation caused the parents quite a lot of heartache. There have been many attempts at reconciliation but to no avail.
I hadn’t thought of the logistics of being on good terms with each daughter, when the sisters themselves were not friends. It was the girls themselves who couldn’t reconcile.
Christmas and birthdays are hard, and of course mothers day. Each daughter sees her mum and dad at different times, never together. Just imagine how hard that is. If one daughter takes mum out and the other rings asking the same question “do you want to do something together” She has to say sorry I’ve made arrangements with your sister. We will do something together later.
Christmas they spend with friends mostly never together as a family.
My friend has written a letter to each girl asking for a reconciliation as she rightly puts in “there is more time behind us, than in the future now”.
When I was going through something similar I wrote a letter too. It had no effect, and I was even told it could do more harm than good.
I’m so wishing that this is sorted out. They were great together, let’s hope they can be again.